I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: “Oh well,” and I went back to smoking again, and that was better – Benny Hill.

I’m not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now – Bill Hicks.

A nonsmoker is forced to find food, but for a smoker breakfast can be a cigarette and a cup of bad coffee – Brock Fiant.

Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life – Brooke Shields.

Watching the smoke dance out of a cigarette is like watching a girl dance out of her dress – D.H. Mondfleur.

If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action – Douglas Adams.

Take your life back from the tobacco companies. They don’t own you anymore – Duane Alan Hahn.

The only “safer” cigarette is your last one – Duane Alan Hahn.

I come from a family of smokers and alcoholics. I lived it, I know the truth. Smoking and drinking have no place in the home – Duane Alan Hahn.

The best way to stop smoking is to just stop – no ifs, ands or butts – Edith Zittler.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics – Fletcher Knebel.

Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine – George D. Prentice.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend! – Gerard Way.

There’s something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that – Harold Robbins.

If we lose the battle against tobacco, we will lose the war against cancer – John Arradondo.

Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries – Luis Bunuel.

It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it hundreds of times – Mark Twain.

It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake – Mark Twain.

To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work – Mignon McLaughlin.

A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? – Oscar Wilde.

The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke – Rudyard Kipling.

There’s a lot of people who, a cigarette is about the only vacation they have – Trey Parker.

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them.. Well, it’s killing me! – Wendy Liebman.